Being an adult is hard. After turning 50 last year, I thought I might have the hang of it.
No. It is still a challenge.
Here are ways I try (some days more successfully than others) to be a calm and sane adult. Ok ~ that might be a stretch. Here are ways that help me reduce the stress level in my life, so maybe I don’t scream like a toddler.
- Find a hobby. Cooking was a chore when I was a single mom with 3 kids who never agreed on anything, but now I actually love spending hours in the kitchen with weekly food prep. Sometimes, Josef will help me make assorted holiday treats (the holiday never matters). Other times, I will bake homemade doggie treats for Bella. It gives me the opportunity to have my hands busy, while my mind is focused on a specific project. I can keep myself distracted from the rest of the world for hours.
- Learn something new everyday. Maybe it is the capital of Madagascar. (It is Antananarivo, by the way. Hey, now maybe you learned something new today. Unless you were already awesome at geography.) You can always bank the information for next time you are on Jeopardy, or need a random topic when there is an uncomfortable gap in conversation.
- Compliment someone. Have you ever had a stranger say something nice to you? Just out of the blue? Isn’t that a nice feeling? Reverse the role, and you just helped someone have a better day.
- Stay out of junior high school. I have friends. You have friends. Not all my friends like all my friends. It is ok. I will still be your friend. If I am at the same event you planned, it is my responsibility to play nice. It is not your responsibility to plan your guest list around me. And, when I plan an event, please do the same for me. Because we are friends.
- I don’t have to be friends with everyone on social media. Really??? Absolutely! I may have an assortment of family, childhood friends, college friends, recent friends, business associates, friends of friends, accidental friends, and the list goes on. But, if someone continually says stuff that just doesn’t sit well (“woe is me”, “I’m upset again, but I’m not posting about it ~ except for posting about it”, “every person who doesn’t agree with me is a loser”, “your life depends on buying this product that will also make you rich, even though I’m not”. . You get the point), I will likely check on them or try to encourage them the first several times, but then I might hide their feed or unfriend them. The first time I did this, I had a family member ask me why, and I told her. Nicely. I thought. That was when she started calling me names we would never say at family reunions. Yes. Right choice.
- Avoid drama. It is so easy to get pulled into drama. (See Junior High.) I get wrapped up sometimes, and always regret it. Just don’t do drama. It is bad.
- Be creative. Paint, sew, glue, bejewel, stick a flower in a vase. I think my family determines my emotional wellbeing by if they see me making stuff. It doesn’t even have to be better than a macaroni necklace. I honestly feel better if I’m making something. Warning ~ mine usually also comes with a big mess.
- Say thank you. Thank people at the grocery store and Target. Especially around holidays and on weekends. Let them know we appreciate them being there. It may not be an option for them, so it makes their day more bearable. Thank people in your house. Thank people at work. Thank people who are receptionists and people who touch your food. (As a general rule, those 2 groups should be at the top of the list. Think about it.)
- Exercise. I hate exercising. I have always struggled with my weight. I exercise because I have to. But, guess what? Those days when I don’t want to leave the couch and/or I am so grouchy NO ONE wants me to leave the house ~ those are the days I need it most. I have to focus in order to exercise correctly. It reduces my stress. Turns out, all those things exercise people say about exercise is true. Well, except for those people who are ripped by exercising only 8 minutes a day on one particular piece of equipment. I still don’t believe them.
- Stay in your pay grade. Maybe there is a process that you think can be better. Maybe you’re not happy with the programming of an application. Tell your superior, and move along. It is now their problem. Yeah! Not mine!
- Be yourself. Or, in modern terms, “You do you, boo!” Unless you’re a real jerk. Then just be a nicer you.
- Reach out to others. Even though it should be easy with texting and Facebook and emails and all the other technology, we still get caught up with our own world. I struggle with this all the time. But, I’m trying to do better. Take a moment and say hi to someone.
- Have an experience instead of something tangible. Make a memory. Send someone else to an event, so they can have an adventure. Live life.
My goal this week is to do all these things. If I don’t reach my goal, I will have homework, until they are done.
I plan to be a grown up this week.
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